I’m still pretty churned up over Mad Men’s season 5 premiere on Sunday. Like, I could talk about it for hours, analyzing every single little nuance and glance and what it all means and what I think could happen next and what should happen next. But part of the joy of being a Mad Men-aholic is that Matthew Weiner and the writers take these characters to unexpected places, and the journey is the fun part. The journey and the superior acting – my mother recently said to me, “When I watch Mad Men, I forget that I’m watching actors. To me, those characters are real people that exist in the world somewhere.” As you can imagine, my mom is all about Jon Hamm/Don Draper. So it’s genetic, I guess. Like mother, like daughter.
So… while I will admit that Don Draper is a deeply flawed man, I’ve always been of the opinion that The Hamm is pretty amazing in every conceivable way. Perhaps the only thing that I could possibly find fault with is his reluctance to marry his long-time girlfriend, Jennifer Westfeldt, otherwise known as “That Lucky Bitch.” The Hamm seems particularly gun-shy about marriage, and now, as it turns out, he’s personally opposed to fatherhood too:
Jon Hamm has plenty of friends with kids — and he’s not interested in having any of his own, thank you very much.
“I’d be a terrible father!” the Mad Men hunk, 41, tells Us Weekly. (As Don Draper on AMC’s smash, the Golden Globe-winning actor plays a devoted if tortured father of three.)
Explains Hamm, now on the big screen in Friends with Kids, costarring and directed by Jennifer Westfeldt, his love of 14 years: “I see my friends who have children and I’m like, ‘Dude, how are you even upright, much less here at work at 6 a.m.?'”
One of those friends with kids is January Jones, who plays his frosty ex-wife Betty on the show, who has a six-month-old son, Xander.
“Xander’s cute as a button!” Hamm raves.
Hamm’s girlfriend Westfeldt, 42, recently mused to the New York Times about why they never started a family.
“I’ve thought about this a lot lately. I never thought I’d be this age and not have kids,” Westfeldt confessed. “But my life has also gone in a million ways I never anticipated. I kept feeling like I’d wake up with absolute clarity, and I haven’t. And we have a pretty great life together. The chance that we’ll regret it doesn’t seem like a compelling enough reason to do it. I may wake up tomorrow with that lighting bolt, and I’ll have to scramble to make it happen.”
[From Us Weekly]
When Jennifer Westfeldt talked about her push-pull desire/ambivalence towards kids, I was somewhat surprised that she spoke about it with such honesty. Is it strange that I think that Jennifer probably did see herself becoming a mother at some point, but she simply ended up with a man who wasn’t interested in fatherhood, so she just made her choice? Am I wrongly positioning her as a follower to Hamm’s lead, or is that the impression you get as well? I think Jennifer made a choice: stay with Hamm and don’t have kids or go find someone else. Did she choose wisely? Fourteen years later, she’s still boning The Hamm. Would that be worth it if she really did want to be a mom? That’s an honest question, by the way, not something nasty and judgy. I’m really asking, is it worth it? In my opinion, it was worth it. From the way Jon and Jennifer talk about their life together, they seem incredibly solid and supportive of each other, and that’s more than a lot of people get.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
And once they separate Jennifer will go on to adopt a baby
yes! that is exactly what i was thinking.
That makes me sad, but I could see it happening.
Call me bias, but I take it with a grain of salt when men say they don’t want kids. What they’re really saying is they couldn’t see themselves as a father “right now”. If he’s still saying that at 70 then I’ll believe him. Until then he has plenty of time to change his mind, unlike Jennifer (in regards to having bio kids). If they break up, his next girlfriend/wife wants them, then he’ll have them and be gushing about fatherhood…
They do seem solid and fourteen years together in celebrityland is an achievement. Not every couple wants kids and they seem fine with the choice they made.
Wrong. Jon would be THE FUNNEST DAD EVER!!!
No, Jon! It’s exactly people like you who need to be reproducing! Especially when the moron brigade will be churning out babies for world domination. Imagine a future where Kim Kardashian’s brood walks the earth. There’s not enough flour on the planet to save us from that.
*Applause*
Idiocracy.
But, I have to respect the fact that he is just being honest with himself.
OMG – You’ve invoked the name of the most amazingly true movie about the future I have ever seen – Mike Judge is a prophet.
It’s true tho – we need more Jon Hamms! My husband and I decided not to have children and I’m really glad to hear other people say it too. It’s hard work and it isn’t for everyone.
@ Bea: you’re not alone, plenty of ppl are choosing not to have kids. My husband and I are an example. It’s annoying that ppl are always asking when are we going to have a baby. When we answer that we’re not they tend to freak out.
I feel bad for her. I am sure she really wants children. As women we have such a longing for children. She probably knows how selfish he is in this regard and gives in (craziness) She will resent him one day for that. Mommies, Mommies, Mommies.. nothing like them.
That is utter BS
I’m a woman, and the older I get, the less I want kids. In my early 20’s I was sure I’d have some someday. Now? At 30? Meh.
You need to talk to more people who aren’t exactly like you. Diversity, diversity, diversity…nothing like it.
Zelda, I couldn’t agree more with you… I have never had te desire, thought it would come because a lot of people said it would. Now I’m almost 30 and the desire still isn’t there and I don’t think it will ever come. To each his own!
I respect people who think it through and decide having children is not something they want to do. Too many people have kids because it is expected or they just think that is what adults do and then they hate every minute of it.
Raising kids is the hardest job in the world and should only be done by people who are completely committed to putting another person’s needs first for a very long time.
Lots of people would rather do something else with their time and energy and more power to them for their courage to refuse to be pushed into it by society’s opinions.
Me too! Which sucks since I’m 32 and have about 4 more years of reproducing freedom. I like being able to do whatever I want, spend whatever I want, and be hungover whenever I want.
As others have said, “Thank you, Zelda!” As a 41 year old woman who never wanted kids (but loves her neices and nephews to death) I think it’s up to each individual to decide what is best for herself/himself. I see my cousin who has 3 children by 3 different men – none of whom she married – and how crazy their lives are. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I wish more people would really think about it before making the lifetime decision to become parents – because that’s what it is. Kids don’t suddenly turn 18 and walk out the door. Once a parent, always a parent. It is the most difficult (and probably the most rewarding) job a person (couple) could do. My hat is off to those who are smart enough to think it through and not rush into anything. People who told me I would regret it were wrong. I never had that biological clock that “ticked.” I had my career, my boyfriends, my friends, my travels, my dogs, my life…and if I want to have a kid in a few years I could always adopt. I don’t think people should feel rushed in to doing something they are not ready for. I think of my 25 year-old self and I hadn’t even begun to experience life. What I would have missed out on! The point is – it’s a personal choice and thank goodness we live in a time where we have the ability to make that choice.
Thank you Zelda! 43 – and still don’t want a child.
Having kids is a little like being hungover. You stay home a lot and don’t accomplish very much and you serve and eat comfort food.
Having kids is a little like being hungover. You stay home a lot and don’t accomplish very much and you serve and eat comfort food.
@Swann
hahahhaha
I don’t know whether to laugh at the stupidity of this comment or feel offended.
Honey, not every woman wants kids; some of us wants different things from life, have different goals. If you want them, ok, have them if you can support them financially by yourself (though, in your case, I don’t know, you seem too ignorant to even consider other choices or/and the planet, so maybe… please don’t reproduce) but don’t think that every other woman is a copy of you.
And he’s not even a tiny bit selfish, for one (and why the hell it’s considered selfish not to have children?!). I’m pretty sure he told her upfront that he’s not interested in breeding. Secondly, how do you know that she wanted kids in the first place? There are a lot of people who don’t give it a lot of thought and they realize later that they have never felt any need to reproduce.
Yeah, on reread, I’m actually leaning toward this one being a troll. It is kind of laughable. No one is this simple-minded anymore.
agreed.. and I was thinking the same thing, when did it become selfish to not want kids?
Aura- You’d be surprised how many people say that to others ALL the time. H*ll, I’ve heard it from my friends a time or two. I cannot get over people having this delusional misconception that if you’re not churning out kids and “sharing your life with them” then you’re not being a good person. It’s like being yelled at by a teacher for not sharing your toys during recess with a kid that isn’t even in the school, much less on the playground. Asinine.
i’m 43 and very happily childfree. i find your view on motherhood to be more than a little antiquated and very stereotypical.
I’m in my 50’s and happily married for 30 years and I’ve never wanted kids. I’ve never regretted it. My darling husband recently thanked me for never having kids. He always seems to do that after being around families with children. My mother used to say I was selfish for not having kids, and then she’d bitch and moan about how my brother and sister were raising theirs. I made the best decision of my life.
It’s great that in this day and age I can choose my reproductive life. I give Jon Hamm props for knowing and being able to choose for himself.
BW,
You are my hero! 🙂
I never had a longing for children. And at 49 years old, I don’t regret it at all. Some people just don’t want kids. I make a great Aunt, but I wasn’t and still ain’t the mother type.
tia, speak for yourself, please. many women have no desire to have kids, including me.not only do i not want them (never have) i don’t like them. if you need children to be happy and fulfilled then you should have them, but some of us feel that way without kids.
You are filtering this through your own desires and needs. He doesn’t want children and she no doubt doesn’t either or she would have left him long ago…it really doesn’t fit everyone…
Can I just ask you this: ‘Why is NOT having children selfish?’
This seems to be THE major cop out criticism of people who make the choice not to have kids. It’s unjustified and a pretty irrelevant point, as there are plenty of ridiculously selfish people who have kids and either abuse them, don’t take care of them or divorce and the kids have to pick up the pieces.
You don’t stay with someone for 14 years if you don’t share the same approach to life: they don’t want kids,and they are both fine with this.
I agree with you. I hate that people keep asking them about kids but I understand they are both starring in a movie called Friends with Kids so these questions are bound to be asked. I feel bad that people keep trying to make it seem as if Jennifer compromised a maternal desire for her man. They have been together this long for a reason.
I guess it irks me because people keep asking when me and my BF will get married and have kids. We have been together 5 1/2 years, are 31, and have never felt like rushing into marriage and kids. Sometimes, his mother makes me feel as if I’m not making her proud because I am not a mom. Forget my professional accomplishments, I don’t have kids. Ugh, sorry for the rant. Thankfully, my parents and his dad are happy with us because we are happy.
I agree, I think they’re on the same page, this isn’t her sacrificing something to be with a man who wants something different. She seems like a pretty together woman, and they’re both adults who know what they do and don’t want. They seem happy, let them be.
I’m sorry but what exactly is wrong with NOT wanting children? It happens – to both men and women! Doesn’t mean she’s not having them just because of her man!
Her follow-up quotation was something like, “we’ve both been able to get what we want (professionally) and stay together because we could travel everywhere.” The implication being that having kids would have required lifestyle changes they were never ready to consider, and then, without really making a concrete decision, they ended up child-free because they always had other personal/professional priorities.
I actually think Hamm is throwing himself on the sword a little here, taking the fall for a mutual decision, because this is not a great time in Hollywood for a woman to say, “hey, kids would have been nice, but I was always putting together these slow-to-develop movies and that was my first priority.”
I have friends who are sort of in Westfelt’s shoes. They weren’t absolutely opposed to having kids but they always had better things to do, and then one day they were 42, 44 years old and it was too late. For bio-kids, anyway. And for my friends, anyway, realizing that they were perfectly fine with that situation helped them believe that they made the right decision.
Personally, this is how I read her comment…she thinks that there was like a 1% chance that she MIGHT want kids and that is not a good enough reason to do it. A kid deserves a 100% chance.
I am 44 and never really wanted to kids but when I ponder my life decisions, every once in a blue moon I think, did I make the right decision here? But, I think that about a lot of my decisions. I think she was just getting self-reflective. Sometimes you wonder should I have zigged when I zagged? But at the end of the day, I think I would have been an awful mother too.
I’m turning 43 next month and I’m single, never married. When I was 28 (the age she met him?) I was involved with the love of my life. He was 40. He flat-out told me he didn’t want to get married or have kids, and although we kicked it around initially and he back-pedaled a bit, after a year we realized we wanted different things. To this day, it was the most devastating break up I’ve ever been through. I’ve been with some nice men since then, and I even tried to get pregnant with a donor about 2 years ago. I tried it once and got very scared. Sometimes I start to feel bad for myself. When this happens, I think of an interview I saw with Helen Mirren a few years back. She was asked if she regretted not having kids, and she answered “NO. I would not have been able to have the life I’ve had.” Some couples decide to forgo children, and some women never have the desire for it. I can only speak for myself, and it is a real conflict. I had a dream 2 weeks ago that I was pregnant and about to give birth soon, and my mother was there with me, and I was so happy. I woke up and started crying. I feel sympathetic for Jennifer and I hope she’s being true to herself.
That’s all I hope, too, that she’s being true to herself. Of course not everyone wants kids, and people should be applauded for knowing what they want in that regard. But Jennifer’s statement come across a little ambivalent about the whole matter, which made me wonder.
If they break up, and they probably will, he’ll probably end up marrying some 20something and having a couple of kids, despite his protests that he doesn’t want that life. Don’t get me wrong, I believe him when he says he doesn’t want kids, I just think he probably doesn’t want to marry JENNIFER and have kids with her.
Well, he is a huge star, so I’m sure he’s got tons of women coming on to him. It does give me pause that they haven’t married.
Hopefully he stays childfree FOR REAL like George Clooney.
Shockingly, not every female wants children. I have three sisters. My youngest sister and I never have had the desire to have children (we’re both in our 50’s). I like that someone, whether a man or woman, admits that the urge or need is just not there.
Better to not have kids when you do not really feel the desire than to have them and be resentful, abusive, indifferent, or a lousy parent. Nothing in the world wrong with not giving in to peer pressure to have children. I have kids yet I can perfectly understand those that do not, especially as mine are set to leave the house.
I loved your moms take on the show. That is exactly how I feel too, which is why I’m always weirded out when I see Hamm acting goofy and smiling because he’s not supposed to, and when I see January dressed like a hobo because she is supposed to be in her fabulous dresses.
I agree with him, he’d make a terrible father. He’d probably tell the kid that he/she was “a f*cking idiot” or something. Plus, Jennifer’s stroke victim face is not something that needs to be passed on.
re: “f–king idiot”
If I acted anything like Kim Kardashian, my mother would speak the same sentiment to me.
Because my mother is a good mother.
Yeah, I can’t imagine the reaction, from my grandmother to my siblings, if I got famous for a “leaked” sex tape with my skeevy boyfriend. “F—ing idiot” would probably be mild.
I like them both for this and much better ideology for the planet. Not everyone is cut out to be parents and the world is 7 billion full to the detriment of other species so good on them side eye to the duggars.
wouldn’t we ALL choose the Hamm?? I mean, come on.
I wouldn’t, but to each their own! 😆
I agree with Jon Hamm completely. Not everyone is meant for parenthood, and with the social opinion of having children being skewed by shows like “19 kids and counting,” and “Kate plus 8” it’s nice to have this counterpoint. I remember telling my parents at the ripe old age of 15 that I would never have kids. They laughed and said I would change my tune when I grew up and met the right man.
Well, I’ve met the right man, and we’ve been together nine years. And we still haven’t made up our mind about children. Maybe in a couple of years we’ll feel different, but I just have a feeling that sleeping in on Saturdays, boning whenever we want and living our lives according to our desires is waaaay better than crying, runny noses and parent teacher conferences.
So perhaps Jennifer has come over to my way of thinking about kids. I know if I had Jon Hamm to myself every night I would not want to share him with anyone, regardless of how frickin’ adorable our kids would be.
Good for Jon Hamm he knows himself. I am a kindergarten teacher and I can’t tell you how many times I have sat across from some parent during a parent-teacher conference and thought to myself, “Really, you had children and why?” Having a child isn’t for everybody.
I am pretty sure they as a couple have talked about kids many times in their relationship and at different times.
They have been together a long time, people change and I am sure they did too. Maybe they both said they wanted kids when they were younger and then later it changed..it happens.
I don’t get a sense of regret from her or bitterness that she is giving kids up because of him.
Not everyone is meant for parenthood and there are a lot of people who should be jailed for having children and not taking appropriate care for them. Children do take a lot of responsibility, time, and money. It’s a huge sacrifice that more educated people with money aren’t willing to make because they have the resources to enjoy their lives to the fullest.
However, people who don’t want children shouldn’t be someone who has to sacrifice that desire to raise a family. If Westfeldt ever had a longing/desire/wish to have biological children then, no, she shouldn’t have stayed with Hamm. It’s tragic to read stories of anyone, but especially women because of their limited time to reproduce, who compromise or wait until it is too late.
No one should have to give up their dream of raising a family if they really want it regardless of how wonderful or good looking their partner is. If Westfeldt truly came to the decision that she doesn’t want to have a family, then good for her. She and Hamm are great for each other. But if somewhere deep inside she regrets not making that choice, then I feel bad for her.
Very well said. I feel sad when women just give in to what their partners want. And I hope that’s not the case here, it was just that some of what Jennifer W. said seemed rather ambivalent.
not surprised.
The way she talks about wanting/not wanting kids reminds me a lot of how I feel about it, so I think I know where she’s coming from. We talk about women who definitely want kids, and who definitely don’t want kids. But there are women, like me, who have absolutely no idea if they want kids.
Over the years I imagine I will probably lean more towards one thing or another, but because I’m not sure, I can see myself happy both ways. Its like Jennifer said, instead of making a decision you regret about it, you wait for that “lightening bolt” to tell you want you want undoubtedly, but until then, you enjoy your life. If it never comes, you know you made the right decision.
I have always felt very much the same way. I’m 39 and still ambivalent about having a child which to me means that I shouldn’t do it. My biological clock is ticking away-time is really running out for me. I have a good husband and a decent job-there really isn’t any major reason why we shouldn’t try to get pregnant except that both of us are sort of wishy-washy about it (and have been for several years). Sometimes by not making a decision you make a decision. I keep waiting for the “lightening bolt” to strike but it hasn’t and maybe it won’t.
I’m all for celebrities who are too busy to raise children actually not having any children. What a concept.
From fairest creatures we desire increase.
I totally respect their decision – if a couple comes to an agreement about each other’s needs, then they really don’t have to answer to anyone. The ambivalence Jennifer feels is a symptom we all feel, it’s simply asking “what if I had taken the other road?”
I think the nice thing about our society is that we have those freedoms. It can also make it really difficult. I for one totally empathize with her. I’m 27, and still don’t know if I really want kids. If I met an amazing hot guy and he just wanted to live a happily-ever-after, adventurous, child-free life, I think I’d hop on board. I heard a quote on TV last night that has stayed with me today, sometimes “life makes choices for you.” However, I think true happiness comes from taking the bull by the horns. If you decide not to have kids, own it, and live with your choice. Otherwise you might regret. Adoption is not a quick fix, it’s a huge undertaking.
First of all, i know that I’m in the minority, but I can’t stand this guy. He comes across as smug and arrogant, like George Clooney. I don’t think he’s handsome either. He he has little beady eyes and a Frankenhead (a long, skinny head like Frankensteim)like David Schwimmer.
However, I do respect him for admitting he would not make a good father. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I love children and always wanted to have another one (I have one biological child and an adopted son) but it didn’t work out that way. I am postmenopausal and when it hit me that I couldn’t have children anymore, I felt a sense of loss and sadness. I even cried.
I’m a bit too old to adopt, and even if I wasn’t, most women placing their children for adoption want a young married couple to parent their child, not a single middle-aged woman, and who can blame them? I hope someday to be a foster parent. There’s plenty of kids that need some love and stability in their lives, if just for a while. I am not perfect, but sometimes if these children have one reasonably well-adjusted adult in their lives, that can make all the difference.
Bravo… U made some great points
I’m always skeptical of couples like this. Yeah, they’ve been together and UNMARRIED for 14 years. In a couple years he’ll leave her for someone younger, probably marry her AND knock her up. Meanwhile, Jennifer will be 45-ish and still childless and unmarried. If she’s genuinely fulfilled in other ways, good for her! I just don’t see this ending well. It is Hollywood, after all…
Agreed, sadly.. I think “knocking their partner up” is how a lot of men come into fatherhood. Life happens, so to speak, without much forethought. Planned pregnancies are in the minority, for even most married couples.
It could happen, although I hope not.
God, children DON’T just happen. What are they? Accidents like breaking a mug or something? I just can’t stand this phrasing. Accidents like children don’t happen to smart/clever people. There is a thing called ‘birth control’ nowadays and if it fails, abortion.
And there’s nothing wrong with being unmarried, some people just don’t see the point in doing that. Why the hell people just assume that if others don’t live according to their life scrip scenario it’s not going to work out.
If the guy said that he doesn’t want kids, it means he doesn’t. Usually people who don’t want children use protection in order to avoid accidents.
And seriously, you PLAN your actions and decisions, especially as responsible and irreversible as parenthood.
Totally disagree. I think he adores her and is in it for the long haul.
It really depends.. I mean, they might end up getting married. My uncle and aunt did after about 20 years of dating.
I try not to be judgmental, and I guess I come from another generation, but I would never live with a man that long without him putting a ring on it!
I disagree with this assessment. First, I think their relationship sits well outside the celebrity norm, and not only because of its duration. Second, I suspect strongly that he’s had a vasectomy. When he says he doesn’t want to be a father, I think he really means it – it’s not about the woman or the circumstance.
I believe him completely that he does not want kids. He has no siblings . His father was gone when he was two. His single mother raised him. She dies when he was young and the his father died before he became a man. He has no concept of traditional family life and he understands great loss. He intellectually decided no kids. His past plays a large roll in that. Not everyone wants kids. Not everyone makes up for life’s hurts by having kids. Some are wise enough not to do it. and for that I admire him.
OMG, I had no idea he went through such a sad childhood…it’s not much different from Dick Whitman!! Weird.
Anyway, I love your comment. Marriage, family (blah blah blah), it’s just not for everyone. No big deal.
Just one look at the news tells you that there are people who have had kids who never should have. I applaud someone who’s honest enough with themselves to say they arent sure they’ve got it in them to make all the sacrifices. And if you don’t have it in you for ALL the sacrifices, then you shouldn’t have any. Period, end of story. This is possibly the one situation where there is no grey.
Good post! You just summed up why I do not want to have children.
A lot of women who are ambivalent about children will ultimately base their decision on what their partner wants. My sister was fairly anti-kids until she met her amazing husband, who changed her mind.
IMHO, there is nothing anti-feminist about arriving at this huge decision as a team.
I feel bad for his girlfriend because even though right now she doesnt want kids I think she will sooner vs later & he obviously doesnt want them ever.
I honestly think he is scared of traditional family because of his past and would really relish being a father. He just doesnt realize it,
Why do people who want kids never realize that not everyone feels the same as them?
I don’t want kids. My mom keeps telling me I’m gonna change my mind. I’m not. The idea of being a mother makes me want to throw up. I want to live my life not wipe butts, and take kids to practice. There isn’t enough child kisses that would make me change my mind since I’ve had these thoughts since I owned my snoopy backpack with woodstock in the 80’s. I’ve been with the same guy for 10 years and we have a good thing going. Why fuck it up with kids we don’t want because everyone else in the world seems to think we need them?
Some people just DON’T want kids regardless of their past. It’s a lot of effort and the whole “the most rewarding thing on Earth” is nothing else but a huge collaborate lie.
Why do people always try to find a problem in other people who choose different paths in life?..
Awesome! We need more celebrities to come out as childfree.
I’ve seen the movie,it’s good. He keeps repeating that same quote right now in his press tour for promoting the movie.
Lots of people don’t want kids
I’ve told my mother since I was in elementary school that I would never have kids. She would laugh because she thought it was cute, but as an adult she has asked me a few times about my thoughts and I just respond with, “I told you crazy lady. I’m not popping out a kid. I don’t want to raise a child; I want to live my life. I don’t need a child’s hugs and kisses, I’m very comfortable and free without them.”
Some people have a dream of children while other people dream about something else, it’s not wrong if you’re honest.
I’ve been with my man for 18 years now and we have decided to not get married and not have children.
I am secure in my decision because I see my friends and watch them raise their kids and I think no thank you! From things to make up to cell phones to boyfriends/girlfriends, training bras, R rated movies, I know that my kid would hate me because my views on all of the above are old fashioned and out of date. I want a kid to be a kid as long as possible and I don’t feel that in this day and age that is possible. 7 year olds on Facebook, 8 year olds wanting a cell phone for their birthday, training bras for girls that don’t even have nipples, thong underwear for 12 year olds? Forget it! No thank you!
And as far as marriage goes, I”m not religious so to me its nothing but a piece of paper. We are committed. We own a house, we have joint responsibilities.
Good for Jon and “The Lucky Bitch” in knowing what they want and what they don’t want. NOw maybe they can be our friends without kids since we don’t have any of those left 😉
Meh. Romantic relationships can come and go, but your kids are forever. I can’t imagine not having my kids, but then again, I wanted children.
To each his own. A woman has got to know her limitations.
limitations? a woman choosing not to have children is considered limited? really.
it s all about them they r really mad men. Jones made agitation for eating own placenta and now man who can give everything to loved woman and grow up great kids said no thanks i take other @bus@. i dont judge but my opinion it s weird
p/s fassy forever
Hopefully, Hamm is not the type of guy, who after his breakup with Jennifer, will be married and expecting a baby within 6 months, with the new love of his life.
And we all know one of those too.
I think that she caved in to what HE wanted and it does not seem like it was a mutual decision. That’s a tough thing to want to be with someeone that you love, but sacrafice what you may want to fulfill the other person or to keep the relationship.
But if he told he up front and clearly that he did not want kids and she stayed for 14 years, then she made her choice.
It’s always fascinating to me that some parents are so vocal because a few people just don’t want kids.
If parenthood is so fulfilling– why are they wasting time ranting about the child-free when they could be spending that time with their precious children?
🙂
http://www.npr.org/2012/03/26/149161109/mad-men-creator-on-whats-next-for-don-draper
This was such a good interview with the writer!
If the guy doesn’t want kids, then it is very good that he has none. If Jennifer wanted kids, she would have had them with or without him. Her quote to me says that she had always assumed she would have kids, not that she desperately wanted them or feels hollow without them. Not all men or women need to be parents to enjoy their lives; some people enjoy their lives 1000% without any children. As a Mom of 3, I obviously wanted to be a parent and have never regretted my choice, but I can certainly look at the other side and imagine how much life I could’ve lived with all the money I didn’t spend on my kids had I never had them. How well-rested I’d be. All the satisfying work I could have accomplished. Again, I don’t regret my choices–just as I’m sure that Jennifer and Jon don’t regret theirs.
Yes. Totally agree with you Boo. She is an independently successful woman. If she really wanted a kid, she would have one.
(Same with Aniston, btw)
People have a right to not have children if they so choose, but that should be something that is clearly understood between both partners before they get married. I’ve know many couples where one wants children and the other doesn’t, and they usually end up with a child, but you can see there is always resentment from the one who didn’t want a child. If Hamm thinks he would be a terrible father, than he definitely shouldn’t do it. My opinion, however, is that family men are much hotter and better husbands.
That’s sad. I think I’ve seen the opposite more often, where one – the woman, generally – wants kids and the guy doesn’t, and they go along with it, and then hate themselves later for it.
For the young’uns in the crowd – if you’re at this impasse in your relationship, GET OUT now and find someone more suitable. You will regret it later. You have to be true to your life and your desires.
I just hope no one in the audience somewhere takes this as a signal to try to break them up to see if they can overturn their choices. Sometimes I wonder if celebrities sharing too much publicly isn’t precisely the beginning of their undoing. It’s Darwinistic really.
The woman is 42, I think she knows her own mind.
One thing is certain: anybody who is adamant that every living person must marry and multiply is angling for the top prize of an RV for bringing in the highest number of conjugal conversions for the telemarketing concern for which s/he works in the year ended 2011.
Next recipients of parent power? First the morescos, then the conversos, then the Saracens and Tartars. After that, the boyars, then the oprechniki, Illuminati, Orstrogoths, Magyars, Stylites, Roundheads, The Society of The Friends of Yahoo Serious, Geraldo, berserkers, Franks and any leftover Merovingians we hadn’t ferreted out since their fall from power in the eighth century. The final insult? The Mary Kay representatives.
What will remain for this new Arcadia? Styrofoam, roaches, marmite and Jehovah’s Witnesses. ‘Styrofoam’ is code for Duggars, they’ll tell you why once they’ve seized the city, its pope, its anti-pope and once things starting cooking hard, Formosus. That guy, again? He’s like Gene Parmesan, what a surprise!
Which is to say, I spend way too much time thinking about me to wonder why couples aren’t having children, or even why my his and her conjoining dinner hour slanket line by Jordache remains on the shelves.
Good for them! There are alot of families, couples in particular who are not solid emotionally, physically all that then they bring kids into that environment.
It’s not a solid relationship, you bring a kid into and they (kids)end up suffering.
Jon and his woman seem very content with what they have and that is wonderful!
I admire people who know who they are beforehand and make up their minds about remaining childless and not taking on a huge responsibility for life.
Good on them for being honest. My godmother and her husband never had kids, and I hate the thought of them (her in particular) getting rude and shitty people giving them grief over it. I’m sure they would’ve made great parents, they were always the fun aunt and uncle when I was growing up, but playing with a friend’s kids is a lot different to having your own.
I have to agree, not every person or every couple wants to have children. There is no rule about this and some of my best friends do not have children and are totally happy with their lives. It’s not for everyone. People need to have choices, not follow like sheep. Think of all the people who have children for all the wrong reasons…
Shame to let those beautiful genes go to waste.
My husband and I don’t want kids, either – although I admit I am the driving force behind it. There’s billions of people on earth, so I’m confident the human race can carry on quite well without us contributing to its ranks.
I think the selfish thing is women who want a child ao badly that they have kids with terrible fathers. And they KNOW this going into it that the man will be an awful or absent father. Now THAT’S selfish!